The Unexpected
by Smashtastic
Summary: After the Bombshell premiere, Karen and Ivy's lives take a completely unexpected turn.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I've wanted to do a Karen/Ivy story for a while. I've always thought they had a bit of a spark together, and I always liked it when they were friends rather thano enemies. Hope you enjoy. It'll be overly dramatic, as always, lol :) And thank you to thegirl20 for some kivy inspiration!**

* * *

PROLOGUE

"Stay with me okay, you hear me!?"

Karen frantically wrapped the towels tightly round Ivy wrists, as she pulled her up into her arms and held her tight. She lifted Ivy's wrists in the air, elevating them above her heart to slow the blood flow.

"You're so stupid Ivy" Karen whispered into Ivy's ear, as she lay, cold and lifeless, in her arms. "Why didn't you speak to me?! Why didn't you tell me?! I could have helped. I thought we were in this together."

Karen was shaking, as the severity of what was happening began to sink in. As she looked around, all she could see was blood, everywhere. The white tiled floor of Ivy's once gleaming bathroom, replaced by a dark sea of red. The mirror lay shattered in the pool of blood, the shards of glass glinting to remind Karen of how broken Ivy must have been to get to this point. She should have fought for her more. She should have realised sooner it wasn't so black and white.

"Ivy please fight" Karen pleaded, as she gently kissed her forehead, tears rolling down her cheek.

"Hello?"

"We're in here" Karen shouted, as 2 paramedics came rushing in. "Please, you have to help my friend. She's, she's slit her wrists. I, I tried to stop the bleeding, but there's so much of it."

"It's okay miss, you did the right thing. We can take care of her now.

What's her name?"

"Ivy" Karen replied, voice trembling. "Her name's Ivy Lynn."


	2. Chapter 2

12 MONTHS EARLIER ...

Karen stared forlornly into her drink, tear stains running down her face. She wished it could have been different, and her heart was hurting. She knew Jimmy was broken, and she more than anything had wanted to be the one to mend him, but she'd realised tonight that not everyone can be healed. And she had to be selfish now. She couldn't take any more pain. She'd felt too much already when Dev had broken her heart, and she wouldn't ever let herself feel like that again. Not if she could help it.

"I'm such an idiot" Ivy berated herself from the toilet cubicle she'd been holed up in for the past hour. She knew what Derek was, she always had, and yet she'd still let him in again. Of course it had to be Karen! Ivy supposed this was some sort of karma for Dev. The party had emptied completely by the time Ivy made her way out. At least no one could accuse her of ducking out early! She was passing through the bar on her way to the exit when she spotted someone she certainly didn't expect to see, hunched over at the bar.

"Iowa! I didn't expect to see you still here!"

Karen looked up from her drink to see Ivy staring back at her, a tiny smirk on her face.

"Yeah well, what do you care! You're the big Broadway star now Ivy. You don't need to worry about a nobody from 'Iowa'."

"I never said I cared" smiled Ivy, taking it upon herself to sit down next to Karen at the bar and order a double vodka tonic.

"That was fun before" Ivy volunteered, when it soon became clear to her that Karen wasn't in a talking mood. 'That's Life'!"

She glanced over to see a noticeable smile forming on Karen's lips, who was still distractedly stirring her drink with her straw.

"Seriously Ivy ... shouldn't you be off somewhere, doing Broadway star things! I'm really not in the mood for whatever this is!"

"Oooooh, bitter Iowa! Your nice corn girl facade seems to be slipping."

"Whatever!" Karen huffed, gathering her things as she slid off the barstool and started to make her way to the exit. "Night Ivy!" she mumbled, as she made her way out into the cold night.

"Karen wait!"Ivy called after her, chasing her down the sidewalk. "Will you just wait Karen" she said, forcibly taking gripping her hand and yanking her to a standstill.

"Jesus Ivy, what the hell do you want from me?"

"I just ... I don't know." she answered truthfully.

She saw Karen look at her with a puzzled expression on her face.

"You've just had the biggest night of your career. A night that's going to turn you into Broadway royalty. And yet here you are, standing in the freezing cold at 3 in the morning with no one but the girl you hate for conversation. I'm not going to lie, that's pretty sad" she smiled. " ... Why do I feel like you're f*cking with me?"

"Probably because I never gave you any reason to think otherwise" Ivy smiled, apologetically. "I'm sorry, really. I, I, can see you don't want to talk. To me especially. ... Goodnight Karen" she said, turning to walk home in the opposite direction.

"Ivy!"

"Yeah?" Ivy asked, spinning around, to look at the tall skinny brunette, shivering before her.

"There's a little dive bar near my place. It's a bit of a hole but it does a great margarita. And it's as far removed from the Broadway set as you can get, which I definitely need right now. So if you wanna ... "

"Oh my god Iowa. Are you asking me out on a date?!" interrupted Ivy, wiggling her eyebrows with a smile on her face.

"Just forget it!" Karen sulked turning to walk away again.

"I'm just kidding Iowa! God you can be so touchy sometimes!" Ivy smiled, rushing to catch up with Karen, who was furiously walking down the street. "So, good margaritas you say?!"

"The best!" Karen nodded, glancing over at Ivy, a smile forming on her face.

* * *

"What?" Karen laughed, as she looked over to see Ivy staring at her quizzically.

2 hours had somehow passed, and the pair of them were well on the way to being hammered. They'd been chatting about nothing in particular, and to Ivy's surprise Karen had been making Ivy laugh with her goofy stories.

"Nothing. I just, I guess I've spent so much time hating you, it never occurred to me I might actually ... SHOCK HORROR ... like you!"

"Yeah well, pity the feeling isn't mutual" smiled Karen. "So! ... you've still not told me. Why are you here Ivy? And I don't necesssssarily mean with me" Karen added, slurring her words, eliciting a smile from Ivy. "Why are you out clearly drowning your sorrows when you should be on top of the world right now."

"I don't know. I guess, you know, when you strive your whole life for something, you get in your head that the day you finally achieve it is the day your life falls into place. Well, I finally achieved it tonight, and it was wonderful. But then ... why does my life still feel like a total mess?"

"Because life is messy."

"Wow that's deep Iowa" laughed Iowa, rolling her eyes.

"Don't mock me" chided Karen. "I didn't ask for your company you know!"

"Okay okay, I'm sorry" Ivy laughed, holding her hands up in exaggerated mock surrender. "So you tell me Iowa. Why were you propping up the bar all alone when I'm pretty sure you could have had any guy in there tonight!"

"Yeah well, it probably had something to do with the fact that the guy I wanted isn't the guy I need right now. ... You know what's funny?!" Karen said, a sudden bitterness in her voice. "When you arrived at the bar before I was busy cursing the men in my life ... and here I am now sitting with the girl who so gleefully helped to tear my heart out with one of them!"

A sobering awkward silence descended over the pair of them, as they both stared intently into their drinks.

"Karen" Ivy said quietly, after a while. "I don't expect you to ever forgive me for what I did, I don't. And I'd be lying if I pretended that when I did it I didn't want to hurt you. But, of all the things I've done in my life that I'm not proud of, and believe me there's A LOT of things I'm not proud of" she laughed quietly. "What I did to you. Well, that tops the list. I'm so sorry Karen. Truly I am. I don't know what else I can say."

"Yeah well, you did me a favour if I'm being honest. Dev and I were in trouble long before you got in on the act. If anything, I should be thanking you for a lucky escape! And I forgave you a long time ago Ivy. It's just ... I guess it's just not that easy to forget" she smiled.

"Thank you" Ivy whispered, sincerely. She had no idea why Karen's forgiveness meant so much to her.

"Gosh, it's after 5" Karen said, suddenly realising how late it was. "I should get home!"

"Yeah me too" said Ivy. "Well, ummm thanks Karen. This was ..."

"Strange?" Karen laughed.

"That wasn't what I was going to say Iowa!" Ivy smiled, playfully whacking Karen.

"Look" said Karen. "My place is just round the corner. Why don't you just crash at mine tonight. It'll take you forever to get home."

"You sure?" Ivy asked, seriously.

"Jesus Ivy. It's not like I'm asking you home for a night of hot steamy sex!" Karen laughed.

Ivy couldn't help but laugh also.

"Come on, let's go!" Karen said "taking Ivy's hand, and helping her off the stool, as they both stumbled their way outside, and unsteadily began making their way to Karen's.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ssssshhhhhhh" whispered Karen loudly, as she finally managed to get the door of her apartment open and she stumbled inside. "Ana might be sleeping ... HELLLOOOOO?" she suddenly shouted.

"Well if she is, she ain't anymore Iowa!" laughed Ivy, as she threw her bag to the floor and flopped herself down onto the sofa, while Karen wandered off down the corridor.

"Nope not here" nodded Karen when she returned. "But I did find this!" she smiled, holding a bottle of wine. What do you say?!"

"You don't think we've had enough? And Eileen will kill me if I'm not at my best tomorrow."

"Ugh, worry about that tomorrow. Right now is now and here and involves wine!"

"You're making no sense you realise that, Iowa!" laughed Ivy. "Come on then, hit me with a large one" she said as Karen somehow managed to pour the glass without getting half of it on the sofa.

"Why do you call me that?" Karen asked, as she slumped onto the sofa with her own glass. "Iowa".

"It's said with love" Ivy smirked, as Karen rolled her eyes.

"You know, I know what you all think of me. That I'm some backwards hick who got lucky and doesn't deserve to be on the Broadway stage."

"You said it Iowa."

"Will you quit calling me that" Karen suddenly snapped. "You know, I worked damned hard to get where I am today, despite what you may think. You know what your problem is Ivy?"

"Enlighten me!" Ivy replied, an amused expression on her face.

"It's that you spent so many years bitter and twisted about what part you didn't get, and why you didn't get it, and who screwed you over ... you never once stopped to ask why that might be. If you had then maybe you wouldn't have been knocking around the ensembles for so many years."

"If I'd wanted a psychology lesson Iowa I'd have called a shrink" snapped Ivy. "Jesus, I didn't come here for this."

"Then why did you then?"

"Do you always ask so many questions" Ivy asked, earning a smile from Karen.

"I'm just still ... trying to work you out, that's all" implored Karen, as she curled herself up on the sofa with her glass, and focused her gaze on Ivy.

"So what's the verdict Iowa?"

"I don't know. That underneath that cool bitch exterior ..."

"Charming!"

"That underneath that cool bitch exterior" Karen continued "there's a nice girl wanting to get out ... and wanting to be loved. You're just not going to get that with Derek."

Ivy couldn't help but laugh out loud. "So who am I going to get it from Iowa ... you?!"

"You wish!"

"Oh I do do I?!" Ivy laughed. "I doubt sweet innocent Karen Cartwright has ever come close to kissing a girl before! You seem like the head cheerleader type who probably dated the hunky quarterback all through school! God you're so predictable!"

"First of all" smiled Karen. "I spent all my spare time in drama class thank you very much! ... and secondly" she said, unsteadily putting her wine glass back on the table, as she leaned close into Ivy, "I've kissed lots of girls!" she grinned adorably.

"You have have you?"

"Yep" nodded Karen furiously. "But I haven't kissed a Broadway star ... until now!"

Before Ivy could form any sort of retort, Karen leaned in gently and placed her lips on Ivy's, waiting for some sort of response from the shocked 'Broadway star'. Rather than pull away, however, Ivy parted her lips and returned the kiss with force, until the two of them were locked in a passionate kiss, fuelled by their drunken excesses.

"Well well well said Ivy" smiling, when they finally came up for air. "That was ... unexpected!"

"Only because you never took the time to find out about the real me" smiled Karen. "Right! I need sleep" she said suddenly, rising off the sofa unsteadily and making her way to the bedroom. She was practically at the door when she turned to see Ivy still sitting on the sofa, staring at her with an amused expression on her face.

"You coming or what?"

"I don't know. Am I safe?!" Ivy joked.

"Only one way to find out!" Karen grinned.

* * *

"Oh my god, make this pain go away" Karen groaned, as the sunlight streaming through her curtains pierced through her head. She knew she was in bed, in her own bed, which was a relief. But the rest of the night before was a little hazy to say the least. As she slowly came to, snippets of last night started to come back to her. ... Ivy! She immediately turned over and her heart practically missed a beat when she saw the blonde Bombshell in question lying asleep next to her. In a moment of panic she checked she wasn't naked, and was relieved to see she was wearing her pj bottoms and vest top."

"Yes, you did kiss me Iowa. No, nothing else happened" Ivy suddenly said, her eyes still closed, startling Karen.

"I, ummm, I, I was drunk and, erm, sorry if I ..."

"Yep, that's the Iowa I know" grinned Ivy into her pillow, as she slowly opened her eyes to look at the brunette lying next to her.

Karen laughed. "This is why it's never a good idea for me to drink when emotional."

"Well we agree on one thing then" laughed Ivy. "Seriously though Karen ... thank you, for last night. I needed that."

"The kiss?"

"No! well, yes I guess ... everything! You're actually alright you know that, but don't you dare tell anyone I said that. It will ruin my persona" she joked. Karen couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, you took my mind off Jimmy so ..."

But it was more than that. Karen didn't know what it was specifically, but she'd had fun last night. She remembered that at least. She'd enjoyed sparring with Ivy. She was a challenge!

"Right" groaned Ivy, delicately rolling over to get out of bed. " I really have to go. I'm going to be in so much trouble with Eileen. I have so much press today. Can I take a shower please?"

"Sure!"

"Thanks."

"No problem. ... your veil is slipping by the way!"

"What do you mean?! Ivy replied, looking at Karen quizzically.

"Before, when you thanked me. You called me Karen! ... there's a clean towel on the back of the door."

When Ivy had left the room, Karen lay very still, her head throbbing, but deep in thought. She only had one person on her mind, and it wasn't Jimmy.

* * *

As Ivy sat in the taxi on her way to the theater her mind kept going back to the night before ... to Karen, and that kiss! She wasn't meant to like Karen. She didn't want to like Karen, and the fact that she'd had more fun with her than she'd had with anyone else in a long time confused her. But god was she pretty! She could get lost in Karen's big brown puppy dog eyes. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the taxi driver announcing their arrival.

"Sorry, I was miles away. Here you are" Ivy said, giving the driver some notes. "Keep the change" she smiled, as she made her way outside, thankful for some fresh air to help clear her mind. It was going to be a long day!


	4. Chapter 4

"Holy crap Karen" gasped Ivy, as she lay on her bed trying to catch her breath and come down from her high of a few moments ago, as Karen gently moved up her body to pepper her with kisses, finishing at the sensitive spot on her neck.

"What?" Karen teased.

"I'll never accuse you of being innocent ever again ... that was incredible" Ivy laughed, as she wrapped her arms around Karen and pulled her in for a lazy but seductive kiss.

"My pleasure" Karen grinned, as she snuggled herself into Ivy in her arms contentedly.

It had been 3 months since their initial unexpected encounter, and things had moved quickly since then. Karen didn't hear from Ivy for a week or so after their initial rendezvous, and Karen, despite secretly hoping that that the night had been more than just a meaningless, drunken encounter, had written it off for just that. She was surprised then, when she came home from rehearsal one night to find Ivy sitting on the steps of her apartment.

"Ivy!" Karen had smiled. "Didn't think I'd see you again."

"Yeah well, I didn't think I'd see you either. And you can take that smirk off your face for starters! Look, I've been freezing my butt off out here ... can I come in?"

Ivy had pounced on Karen as soon as she'd let her into the apartment. Their kiss was more intense than before, and Ivy confessed to Karen that it was no good, and she hadn't been able to get her out of her mind. She was scared though. Scared of feeling this way about someone she wasn't even sure she could like.

"Should like" Karen corrected her, as she'd led Ivy into the bedroom, and they'd spent all night exploring each other's bodies. "There's a big difference."

What was happening between them was wholly unexpected, and yet at the same time, it had never felt more right, for either of them. Karen had confessed all to Ana, who could not have been more shocked, much to Karen's amusement. Likewise, Ivy had told Sam, who simply said he always knew there was more to Ivy's professed hate of Karen than she let on, even if she didn't even know it herself.

So, for the past few months Karen and Ivy had been seeing as much of each other as they could, which was difficult considering their busy schedules. Karen's with 'Hit List', which had just embarked on its Off Broadway run, and Ivy with Bombshell. Ivy had her own apartment though, which made things easier, and Karen was a frequent visitor there, and after a few weeks Ivy had given her a key. She'd laughed to herself as she was getting a copy. Of all the people to be cutting a key for, it was Karen Cartwright!

"How was the show tonight" Ivy quietly asked, after her body and mind had come down enough to process some rationale thoughts.

"Good good. Jimmy though ..."

"What about him?"Ivy interrupted, unable to hide her jealousy.

"He's not making it easy, for anyone. He's already missed 2 shows, and he never turns up for rehearsal, let alone interviews. And when he is around he's just a nightmare with his attitude. Derek's running out of patience. I, I feel bad you know. I do care about him, and I know he's a good person, but he's been so damaged, he doesn't know how to handle ... well real life really."

"Karen, he isn't your responsibility you know. You need to look after yourself first and foremost. That's your problem you know. You're too much of a soppy pushover!"

"There's nothing wrong with caring Ivy" Karen said, obviously hurt by the insinuation. "This business isn't so cynical you know. I just think somewhere along the way you lost sight of that."

"Oh you do do you?" teased Ivy, leaning in to kiss Karen again, as she ran her fingers gently down Karen's taut, silky smooth naked body.

"Yes I do" Karen smiled, as she freed herself from Ivy's arms to raise herself up on her elbow, so she was looking down on Ivy. "Or are you saying that what we have is just about sex, and looking after YOUR needs, and nothing more. Because, because that's not how I see this Ivy ... and if it is then I don't ..."

"No, of course not" Ivy implored reaching out to stroke Karen's face. "You know how I feel about you. That's not what I meant."

"Then why is it that, 3 months later, we're still sneaking around like teenagers, and the only 2 people who know about us, this, whatever this is, are Ana and Sam? It's, it's like you're ashamed of me or something."

"Don't be ridiculous Karen. What do I have to be ashamed about. You're gorgeous and Broadway's next big sweetheart remember, especially judging by the way everyone is creaming their pants over 'Hit List'" Ivy said, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Jesus, I'm lying here naked in your bed Ivy and you still think this is some kind of competition. I really haven't got time for this" she added, clambering over Ivy to get out.

"Karen wait!" Ivy called, as she sat up and grabbed Karen's arm, pulling her back towards her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ... It's just, well, if you hadn't noticed bad things happen to me. My life has always been a mess. And yet, right now, it just seems so, I don't know, perfect! 'Bombshell' ... and now you. And I'm happy. There, I said it!" Ivy laughed, as she reached up to stroke Karen's face. "Ivy Lynn is happy! ... And it scares me you know. I feel like any second it's all going to come crashing down around me. That's why I just want things to stay as they are. I know that's stupid."

"Yes, it is stupid" Karen said tenderly, "but I do understand. But being scared is just part of life. I get scared. I worry about the future too Ivy, but that doesn't mean we have to stop living. Look, I'm not saying we put out a statement declaring our love for one another!" Karen laughed. "I'm just saying, let's not hide this either. Let's once in a while walk to the coffee shop holding hands" she smiled. "The world isn't going to fall apart Ivy!"

"It's you who will come off worse though" Ivy said. "Everyone already knows what I am. What do you think people will say when they read that you've hooked up with the girl who destroyed her happiness by sleeping with her fiancée."

"Well, he technically wasn't my fiancée at the time" Karen joked, and seriously, I don't care. It's just words, and it'll blow over. I'm ready to deal with that ... if you are? But I can't do this alone. We're in this together Ivy, or not at all ... what do you say?" she smiled as she leant in to kiss Ivy tenderly.

"Okay" Ivy smiled. "You and me together. Now come back here Miss Cartwright. It's cold under these covers without you.

* * *

The next morning Ivy was walking Karen to the MTW, when Karen felt Ivy's hand slip in hers, their fingers interlinked.

"There! That wasn't so hard was it?" Karen smiled. "So, does this mean that you're officially MY GIRLFRIEND?!"

Ivy couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe Iowa ... maybe."


	5. Chapter 5

"Karen is that you?" Ivy called sleepily, as she heard her front door open. She wasn't expecting her girlfriend tonight. Girlfriend! She never imagined she'd have a girlfriend, and let alone for that girlfriend to be Karen, but somehow it just felt so normal now.

"Hey!" Karen said quietly as she made her way into the bedroom and over to Ivy, leaning in to kiss her tenderly on the lips. "Sorry, did I wake you gorgeous. I didn't mean to ... I just didn't want to be alone tonight."

"I forgive you" Ivy smiled sleepily, as she leaned over to turn the bedside lamp on. "I was just dozi ... Oh my god, what happened sweetie?!" she said suddenly, catching sight of Karen's bandaged arm and teary eyes. "Let me see sweetheart."

"It's nothing really" Karen replied, as she sat on the bed next to Ivy, her voice betraying the truth. "I'm just being stupid."

"To hell you are. It's clearly not nothing. What happened? You can tell me. I can be surprisingly good in a crisis!"

"It's just that ... well tonight has been a complete mess" Karen said, her eyes starting to fill with tears again. "Everything about it. Jimmy was off his face the entire performance. He forgot to catch me during 'Broadway Here I Come' and I bashed and cut my arm?" she said holding up her arm dolefully like a little toddler with scraped knees. "And then in the bar afterwards he made a total fool out of himself, but didn't finish until he'd humiliated me and Kyle also ... in front of everyone! And then to top it all off, all the producers who came tonight apparently loved the show but made it pretty clear that 'Hit List' isn't for Broadway" she finished. "So much for my dreams coming true finally!"

"Hey! You got me didn't you?" smiled Ivy, earning a choked laugh from Karen."Come here you" she said, pulling Karen in for a comforting hug. "Maybe I can kiss the pain away" she said, as she gently took Karen's arm and kissed the bandage. "Better?"

"A little" sniffled Karen.

"What did he say? Jimmy."

"He, he, said that I basically slept with Derek to get where I am today, and, and that I'm a desperate fame whore, which is why I hooked up with you now that you're one of Broadway's hottest stars. ... It isn't true" Karen added.

"I know it isn't, don't be silly" laughed Ivy, as she rubbed Karen's shoulders and leaned in to give her a comforting peck on the lips.

"Oh and he then totally outed Kyle in front of his boyfriend for sleeping with Tom."

"Tom?! My Tom?!" exclaimed Ivy, as Karen nodded her head in reply. "Wow ... sounds like quite a night!" grinned Ivy, and Karen couldn't help but smile.

"It's my fault, all of this" Karen said, as she grew serious once again. "Ever since the 'Bombshell' premiere Jimmy's behaviour has been all over the shop. And now, now I think he's ruined the show forever. Derek was livid and made it pretty clear that was Jimmy's last performance, but he's, he's the lead, and the writer. ... this is going to be all over Riedel's column in the morning."

"Hey, now come on! Listen to me. None of this is your fault sweetie, okay?! Get that out of your head right now. All you ever did was care too much about a boy who didn't deserve your attention in the first place. You said yourself that Jimmy doesn't know how to deal with life. Some people just can't be helped. This isn't on you okay? ... okay?!" she repeated, as Karen looked yet to be convinced.

"Okay" whispered Karen. "I'm sorry to come here and disturb you. But when it was all kicking off, I don't know, I only wanted to be with you."

"Well, we are in this together right?"

"Right" Karen smiled gratefully.

"Come here you and come and keep me warm then" laughed Ivy, as she pulled Karen down towards her and pulled the covers over the two of them, flipping Karen over so she was lying on top of her.

"Ivy I need to get out of these clothes first" laughed Karen.

"Well, that's where I come in" grinned Ivy, as she sensuously ran her hands under Karen's top, skimming her smooth skin, earning a moan from her girlfriend. "You're so beautiful" Ivy whispered as she pulled the top over Karen's head and free the clasp of her bra, and began kissing Karen's torso, making her way tortuously up her body to her lips.

"So are you" gasped Karen. "Thank you" she said, as she gently reached up and stroked Ivy's cheek with her thumb.

"For what?"

"For this. For making me feel like this. ... Ivy? You know I ... well, you make me feel like I have butterflies whenever we're together. And don't laugh, I know I'm being soppy!" Karen grinned.

"I wouldn't dream of it Iowa" teased Ivy, as she moved in to kiss Karen passionately, and they settled in for a night of exploration, their bodies as one.

* * *

"Karen do you want a coffee?" Ivy called from the kitchen the next morning, as Karen was getting sorted in the bathroom.

"Yes please!" she shouted back. She looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile. Domestic bliss with Ivy Lynn, who would have thought it! Ever since the morning they'd walked hand in hand to the MTW the rumours had been swirling about their relationship, and as Ivy had predicted Karen had borne the brunt of the jokes and insinuations. She was prepared for that though, and having Ivy to fight her corner with her made it all worthwhile. They'd neither confirmed nor denied the rumours at the time, and it wasn't until Ivy gave a warts and all interview to the New York Times that she finally revealed that she was indeed seeing the brunette beauty.

_"With Karen I can be the girl I always was before I lost myself a little bit in this crazy world."_ Ivy had said.

Karen's feelings for Ivy had been growing deeper and stronger with each passing day, and she could no longer deny them ... She was in love with Ivy! Falling in love with another woman wasn't anything she'd ever even thought about before Ivy, and she knew she was probably making things harder for herself professionally and personally, but she didn't care.

She hadn't yet told Ivy how she felt though, even though she wanted to, and was ready to. She'd come so close though, last night especially. She'd almost told her when she was lying with Ivy, but something had stopped her. Truth was, it was the look in Ivy's eyes that had made her think twice. For a fleeting second she saw a look of fear flash across Ivy's face, as if she knew what was coming and the consequences of dealing with Karen's words had terrified her. The last thing she wanted to do was scare Ivy away, to rush things, and she knew Ivy still had emotional issues despite how far they'd come these past few months. She was battle scarred from a decade of failed relationships and what she saw as a failed Broadway career, and a part of Karen worried whether Ivy would ever truly learn to trust someone else, let alone herself.

When Karen was finished in the bathroom she made her way into the kitchen, grinning to herself as she sneaked up behind Ivy who was busy making the pot of coffee, and wrapped her arms tightly around her from behind as she kissed Ivy's neck sensuously.

"Do we have to go to work today?" she groaned into Ivy's neck, as her hands made her way under Ivy's shirt.

"Karen, stop it, we're already late" teased Ivy, spinning around so that she was looking into Karen's big brown eyes. "You okay about going to the MTW today? Do you want me to come along and hold your hand" she smiled.

"I'll be fine" grinned Karen. "There's going to be a lot of fall out though. I've tried Kyle a few times but I can't get hold of him. Going to be a fun day!"

"Okay, well just promise me you'll take care of yourself okay? I know you, always trying to be the peacemaker!"

"Yes mum!"

"Hey Iowa!" laughed Ivy, giving Karen a playful whack. "I know there's a lot about me you wouldn't want to emulate, but one thing I do know is how to survive in this world."

"I know, and I appreciate it" Karen smiled. "I'm glad you're in my corner Ivy, I really am."

* * *

"Okay, let's take a 10 minute break, and then back to it!" called Jake, 'Bombshell's choreographer. They'd been rehearsing some new choreography for '20th Century Fox Mambo' all morning, and Ivy was struggling to concentrate. She hadn't been able to take her mind off Karen through worry about the fallout from the night before. She rushed to check her phone and was immediately alarmed to see about 7 missed calls from Karen and 2 from Ana. She frantically listened to her voicemails, the colour draining from her face as she grabbed her things and sped to the door.

"Jake, I've got to go" she called. "It's Karen. She's in hospital."

* * *

"How is she?! What happened?!" said Ivy, as she rushed into the waiting room to be greeted by Ana and a couple more of Karen's friends from the ensemble.

"She's okay Ivy" said Ana immediately upon seeing Ivy and hearing the panic in her voice. "It's Kyle ... he's dead." Ana said, her voice breaking up as her sobs got caught in her throat. "He got hit by a car last night. And Jimmy went crazy when we told him. He blamed Karen and pushed her into some stacked chairs, and they came crashing down on her. She's broken her arm."

"Can I see her?"

"They're just setting her arm now, and said they'd call us as when they're done" said Ana, slumping back down on her chair, spent from the emotional turmoil of the last few hours. Ivy came to sit down next to her, relief washing over her that it was only a broken arm, but concern for the Karen's wellbeing during the aftermath.

"I'm so sorry about Kyle" she said quietly. "I know how much you and Karen cared about him."

"Thanks Ivy" whispered Ana. "I, I still can't believe it."

"And what about that bastard Jimmy?!" said Ivy, unable to hide her anger.

"He rushed out after it all kicked off. Derek and Scott are back at the theatre doing some firefighting. The media's all over this already as you can imagine. They've cancelled tonight's show until they can work out what to do. Karen's not going to be able to work for a while with her arm."

They were interrupted by the doctor coming to update them on Karen's, and to let them know they could go in and see her.

"You go first" said Ana.

"You sure?"

"Of course. You are her girlfriend, right?!"

"True" laughed Ivy.

* * *

Ivy saw Karen before she saw her, and her heart almost broke at the sight before her. She was sitting up in bed, her arm plastered up, resting on her lap, and she looked so adorably helpless. 6 months ago Ivy would have sneered at how pathetic it all was, but not now.

"So Iowa!" said Ivy as she made her way into the room and made her way over to Karen. "This morning when I told you to take care today, I knew you weren't listening to me!"

"Karen looked up, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Ivy, grateful for her girlfriend's flippancy, but her face soon crumpling in her comforting presence.

"Heyyyyy, come here you" said Ivy, making her way to the bed and engulfing Karen in a hug, as Karen broke down completely, weeping into Ivy's hair. "Just let it all out."

"It's all my fault" Karen sobbed. "Everything Jimmy said was true. Kyle's dead because of me. I, I, I told him to cut Jimmy loose. He wouldn't have been out last night if it wasn't for me."

"Ssshhhh" said Ivy as she held Karen tight. "Don't be silly sweetie. It was an accident, that's all. No one blames you, okay?"

"Jimmy ..."

"Hey!" Ivy immediately interrupted forcefully. "NONE of this is your fault Karen. None of it."

Ivy looked at Karen as she nodded uncommittedly, and gathered her into her arms again. Inside she was fuming. Jimmy deserved to be locked up as far as she was concerned, but knowing Karen as she did she wouldn't even countenance going to the police to report him for attacking her. She wouldn't go against Karen's wishes, but if Jimmy ever came close to Karen again she wasn't sure she could be responsible for her actions.


	6. Chapter 6

"Karen, darling can I have a word?" said Derek, after they'd finished a morning rehearsal of 'Hit List'. The show had been on hiatus since Kyle's death a month earlier whilst everyone came to terms with their loss and grief, and Scott and Derek worked out what to do with the show. It was eventually decided that the show must go on, and Derek had resumed rehearsals with a view to the show starting back up again in a week.

"Sure, what's up?" she said, following Derek into his office, where he closed the door behind her. "This seems ominous!" she teased, earning a smile from her director, as she went to sit on the battered leather sofa.

"Karen, you know this show wouldn't be anything if it wasn't for you right?"

"I don't know" said Karen. "I was just in the right place at the right time, like you were. I'm sure Kyle would have got the show heard and seen eventually without you or I to help it along its way."

"No, he wouldn't" said Derek bluntly, causing Karen to smile.

"I also mean you as it's lead. Its star. And given where we are now ... Kyle, Jimmy ...'Hit List' needs you more than anything."

"Well I'm not planning on going anywhere Derek if that's what you're getting at? I know that we're not on Broadway but I don't care at the moment. I love the show for what it is. And besides, I owe it to Kyle" she added, feeling herself getting a little teary.

"Well that's the thing. You might have second thoughts once you hear what I'm about to say. I might as well cut to the chase. Jerry Rand wants to take 'Hit List' to Broadway, and he's willing to put in some serious money to do so. And Karen, don't even bother to question his motives, because you and I both know that, however he spins it, he's only doing this for himself, and to get one over on Eileen. But this is 'Hit List's' chance, and we'd be fools to turn it down. Kyle will finally get his show on Broadway."

"Jerry Rand?! Derek, you remember what happened with 'Bombshell' right? You left that show because of him in case you'd forgotten, and now you're happy to jump back into bed with him as soon as he dangles that Broadway carrot in front of you!"

"Karen, you and I both know this show is good enough to be on Broadway. It deserves to be on Broadway. Of course I'd prefer almost anyone but Jerry, but I'm always going regret it if this show dies as an Off Broadway show, and I know you will too. If it was any other producer you'd be jumping up and down right now."

"But it isn't any other producer, it's Jerry! He probably never even heard of Kyle before he died, and now you know he'll be milking his death for everything it's worth" lamented Karen.

"I know that, but don't be so naive Karen. This Broadway. It's the job of a producer to spin a story in any way that will help a show, you know that."

"I guess" said Karen.

"And bloody hell darling, don't forget that this will finally give you that starring Broadway role. If we get it on Broadway soon 'Hit List' will be eligible for all the awards."

"I don't care about that" said Karen.

"Well you should do. Amanda is too good a part, and you're too good as her not to get recognition for it" said Derek plainly.

Karen knew everything Derek was saying was right. 'Hit List' did deserve its shot at Broadway, and she would just have to suck it up that Jerry was the man to take it there.

"Okay, then I guess you can count me in" smiled Karen.

"Yeah well, I hadn't quite finished yet darling" said Derek, coming to sit next to Karen. "Here's the thing ... Jerry's only agreeing to do this if Jimmy's back on board also."

"Jimmy?! What the heck Derek?!" said Karen, incredulously.

"Look, just hear me out okay. You know how I feel about that little scrote. But the truth is, the show isn't anything without him. He signed the performance rights of the show to us, so we can go to Broadway with or without him, but it still needs more work. It still needs new songs. Broadway is a totally different beast than here at the MTW, and we need Jimmy's input. The songs are all his creative vision after all. Plus, Jerry isn't stupid. He knows that the best chance the show has is to have its original stars, and the ones who are responsible for getting it to where it is now. That's you and Jimmy, and Kyle's memory. I know he f*cked up big style, and given the option I wouldn't let him near a theatre again, or you, but the truth is, without Jimmy, this isn't happening."

"Well is Jimmy even keen on this?" asked Karen.

"I saw him yesterday, and he's desperate to make amends. To do it for Kyle ... and for you. He knows what a prat he's been. But he'll only do it if you're okay with it ... So, what do you say?"

"Wow Derek, some choice!" laughed Karen. "If I don't do this then I'm basically destroying Kyle's Broadway dream."

"He'd understand. Karen, this is your call."

"Okay okay, I'll do it, but I'm telling you right now, I won't be part of any Jerry scheming or ploys to destroy 'Bombshell'. And I swear, if he does anything to try and harm Ivy's reputation I'm out of there, contract or no contract!"

"That's my girl" Derek smiled, kissing Karen tenderly on the cheek.

"I have no idea what I'm going to tell Ivy!" Karen said.

"She'll understand. She's a professional.

"She's also Ivy!" joked Karen.

"This is true" laughed Derek.

"I meant more about her reaction to Jimmy being back in the show though ... Derek?" said Karen, turning reflective all of a sudden. "Can I ask you something? Why did you treat Ivy like that? In Boston."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, playing with her heart like that."

"Honestly? I didn't even know I was. I never asked anything of Ivy and she never asked anything of me" he said truthfully. "I've always cared for her, but you and I both know that what we had was nothing more than that. Ivy knew what I was when she got involved. And don't forget who she was back then, and what she did, to you!"

"She was hurting when she did that" said Karen defensively.

"You really care for her don't you? Well, I'm glad she's found you Karen Cartwright! You're a good girl. She needs someone like you. I could do with someone like you too!" he smiled ruefully.

"I'm sure you'll survive Derek" laughed Karen, kissing her director, and friend, tenderly on the cheek. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not pressuring me about 'Hit list'. I appreciate that. You're not quite the Dark Lord we all make you out to be" she grinned as she made her way out.

* * *

"Thanks so much for coming everyone" said Ivy, as she signed her final autograph after another evening performance. She was still getting goosebumps performing as Marilyn, and at the thought of hundreds of people still turning out night after night, to see her!

She turned to make her way back into the theatre when she felt some arms wrap around her. "You were fantastic, as always" she heard a voice whisper in her ear, and she span around in delight to see Karen standing there.

"Hey you! You watched the show?!"

"I sure did. Eileen hooked me up. Perks of being the star's girlfriend! I wanted to see you perform again ... it turns me on no end seeing you as Marilyn. Especially the JFK scene" she winked as she leaned down to give her girlfriend a tender peck on the lips, earning a few camera flashes from the crowds of people still hovering outside the stage door.

"Listen, can we go and get a drink somewhere quiet?" Karen continued. "I need to talk to you about something."

"You're worrying me now Iowa! Is this when you tell me we're no longer girlfriend and girlfriend?!" she teased.

"No such luck I'm afraid" grinned Karen. "Come on, shall we get out of here" she said, taking Ivy's hand.

* * *

"Okay, hit me with it Karen. You've been nervously twirling your straw in the glass for the last 30 minutes!" laughed Ivy. "I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"Okay, well, promise me you'll stay calm okay?"

"Oh god, you're worrying me now."

"The thing is, I spoke to Derek today ... Jerry Rand wants to produce and take 'Hit List' to Broadway, but on the proviso that he's only doing it with Jimmy back in the show."

"Jimmy?! What the f*ck Karen. He's been fired ... and jesus, he assaulted you and broke your arm, are you forgetting that?! Please tell me you told Derek and Jerry where they could shove it."

"No I didn't ... I said yes" said Karen quietly. "Broadway was Kyle's dream Ivy. I'm not going to destroy that because of my beef with Jimmy. I'd never forgive myself."

"Beef? Karen, HE BROKE YOUR ARM! This is ridiculous!"

"Ivy, will you please calm down and let me explain!"

"Calm down?! Don't sit here and tell me you're hooking back up with Jimmy Collins and expect me to be calm about it Karen!"

"I'm not hooking back up with Jimmy. It's just a role, and Derek says he's desperate to make amends for everything. Everyone deserves a second chance don't they?"

"He's had more than enough chances Karen and you know it! Jesus, what happened? Was the lure of Broadway too much for you that you lost all your sense of integrity Karen. I guess you're learning pretty quickly how to be ruthless in this business" Ivy spat out.

"Don't you dare talk to me about integrity and ruthlessness Ivy! And if I was even ruthless, then I'd have learnt it from the best" snapped Karen in retaliation, immediately regretting her choice of words.

"Oh great, is this how it's going to be? You bringing Boston up whenever you need a stick to beat me with!" shouted Ivy, as she got up from her chair.

"Ivy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Look, can we just talk about this rationally please?! You're completely overreacting here, come on!" pleaded Karen as she stood up to grab Ivy's arm to stop her walking away.

"Let go of me Karen! I'm not going to apologise for giving 2 shits about my girlfriend. If that's overreacting then so be it. I want you to tell Jerry you're not agreeing to this."

"I can't do that and you have no right to ask me to do that Ivy."

"So what I think means nothing then?"

"Of course it does Ivy. But what choice do I have?"

"It's a f*cking simple choice if you ask me" shouted Ivy, causing a stir in the bar from the surrounding tables.

"Okay, you're acting totally irrationally now" Karen said. "Let's go back to mine and talk this through properly" she added, trying to reason with Ivy.

"There's nothing more to talk about" replied Ivy coolly. "You've made it pretty clear where I figure in your priorities. Nowhere! I need some fresh air" she said, storming out of the bar.

"Ivy, wait, please!" Karen called after her. But it was too late. She was gone.

* * *

"Okay, let's call that a day everyone. Good work" said Derek, after a gruelling few hours of rehearsal. Karen reached for her arm, which was aching considerably. All she wanted to do now was go back to the apartment and curl up in bed, even though it was only 3pm.

"Cheer up girl" said Ana, coming to sit next to her bestie, as Karen sat herself on the floor to change her shoes. "We're going to Broadway!" she said, rubbing Karen's knee.

"I know" she smiled gratefully.

"I take it Ivy's still not called?" asked Ana, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"What do you think?! I've called about 5 times and texted her loads, and nothing. One overblown argument and she throws in the towel." she said, shaking her head.

"Karen, it's not even been a day, don't give up yet. This is Ivy remember. She's nothing if not dramatic!"

"That's just the thing. I'm not sure I want the drama you know. I had enough of that with Dev and Jimmy."

"Look Karen. I'm not going to pretend that when you first told me about Ivy I was happy. After everything she'd done to you, and the way she always treated you, I thought you were insane! But you know, I've seen the two of you together, and you kind of work. And I've never seen you more contented. And Ivy, well, when she's not being the uber bitch I actually like her! You're good for each other believe it or not. But Karen, this is still Ivy. She's all drama and inner turmoil. That's never going to leave her, and I don't think you really want her to change. So you just need to decide whether that's worth fighting for."

"I thought it was, but I'm not sure now" she smiled. "Is 3pm too early to start drinking?!"

"It's too late if you ask me!" she said, pulling Karen up off the floor and linking arms with her bestie, as they headed out of the door together.

* * *

Ivy had been pacing around outside the MTW for the past hour. She was such an idiot! Why did she always have to press that self-destruct button. Karen was right. She had completely overreacted last night. She hadn't even let Karen explain. But instead of acting like an adult about it all she'd stormed off and gone and found the nearest dive bar and drowned her sorrows in vodka tonics.

She looked at her phone again, and at of all Karen's missed calls and texts.

_"Ivy, just text me back will you. At least so I know you're okay xo" _read the last one.

Despite the way Ivy had treated her, Karen was still thinking about other people first. It was one of the main reasons she loved her. She'd been trying to fight the feeling because it terrified her, but she couldn't deny it any longer. She was in love with Karen Cartwright! And now she'd probably ruined everything.

She knew she couldn't really rationalise her behaviour. Karen had never given her any reason not to trust her, but it was just whenever Jimmy was involved ... it got to her so much. She knew that Karen had cared deeply for him, and theirs had been a passionate relationship. She didn't understand that Karen could just turn those feelings off. Why else could she be so willing to work with him again after the way he had treated her.

Her thoughts were stirred by a familiar laugh from the door, and she span around to see Karen walking out with Ana. Karen's smile faded almost immediately when she saw Ivy, as she slowed to a standstill on the steps.

"Hey!" smiled Ivy nervously.

"Hey" replied Karen quietly.

"I'm so sorry Karen, for everything. Please will you give me a chance to apologise properly, to explain? I know I didn't let you do that yesterday ... please Karen?" she said, as Karen remained rooted to the spot, clearly unsure whether to accept or not.

"You go" said Ana suddenly to Karen. "Call me later, okay?!" she winking, giving her bestie a kiss goodbye of the cheek, before leaving the 2 of them alone.

"Come on then you" said Karen with a half smile, breaking the tension that was building. "Where do you want to go?"

10 minutes later they were settled into a quiet bar as Ivy came over with drinks for them both. "I figured if this is the end of our relationship I needed something strong!" she joked, pointing to her double vodka tonic.

"Karen, I'm so sorry for last night, I truly am. I know I acted totally irrationally. The truth is, the moment you mentioned Jimmy I couldn't see straight. He's hurt you so much, and you were telling me you were going to be working together again. And the truth is, it scared me. Everything good in my life always seems to fall apart. Why should you be any different? I know me telling you that I'm a jealous bitch is probably the last thing you want to hear!" laughed Ivy, earning a first proper smile from Karen.

"I don't think you're a jealous bitch Ivy. I, I just don't know what goes on inside that head of yours sometimes. 4 months we've been together Ivy! We're practically living together. There's no reason for you to feel this way. I know you've been burned in the past, but that was with other people, not me. I told you we're in this together and I meant it. But if you can't trust me, then I'm not sure I can do this."

"I do trust you, I do. It's just ... it's hard to change the habit of a lifetime, you know. I'm just always expecting the worst. ... will you please give me another chance?" she asked quietly, unable to look Karen in the eye, as she stared resolutely at her drink.

"Ivy, sweetheart, look at me" said Karen softly, as she reached out to take Ivy's hand. "It's not about giving you another chance. Let's just put last night down to teething problems, okay?" she grinned. "This is all new to me also, and I get scared too. And I'm sorry for bringing up Boston. That wasn't fair."

"Thank you" whispered Ivy. "I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me" smiled Karen. "Come here you" as she moved off her chair to Ivy and kissed her tenderly on the lips, and hugged her tightly. "Just promise me one thing though."

"What?"

"Next time either of us 'needs to talk', we do it in private!"

Ivy couldn't help but laugh. "It's a deal!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Did you remember to put the wine and flowers in the trunk?"

"Yes!" smiled Karen.

"Why are you laughing?" pouted Ivy.

"Because you've only asked me that 5 times already! Just relax sweetheart okay? It's all going to be good."

"That's easy for you to say. Your mom isn't Leigh Conroy, and you're not about to introduce your girlfriend to her for the first time. You know all she's going to do is criticise right. Don't expect anything else ...wait, what are you doing Karen?" she said, as Karen pulled over onto the side of the road, bringing the car to a stop.

"Ivy, listen to me" said Karen, taking Ivy's hand. "All that matters is that I get to spend the day with you, and your family. Don't let yourself get wound up. There's no reason to be. And besides, you've got me to fight your corner" she smiled, leaning in to give Ivy a tender kiss on the lips. "Okay?"

"Okay" said Ivy gratefully. "You know, I know this is pathetic, but you're the first person, boy or girl, I've ever introduced to my mom."

"I am? ... well, let's look at this as an adventure then!" grinned Karen.

"More like a nightmare!" laughed Ivy.

* * *

"So Karen. I hear 'Hit List' is making its Broadway debut next week, and I've heard great things about the show and your performance" said Leigh as they'd finally settled in the living room after a tour of Leigh's beautiful country estate.

"Well, Amanda's a great role. I'm excited to play her. I'm lucky that I got to be a part of a musical that means so much to me. Like Ivy with Marilyn" she smiled, looking over to her girlfriend.

"Well Ivy's lucky that you gave her the role" smiled Leigh, as Karen felt Ivy tense up next to her.

"Marilyn was always Ivy's role Miss Conroy. I just got to be her for a little while" she said, moving her hand to Ivy's and giving it a little comforting squeeze.

"Still" said Leigh "to be so young and and the lead star in the next big Broadway musical, that's some achievement. It took Ivy 10 years to finally get out of the chorus ..."

"I think we all need some drinks" said Ivy suddenly, jumping off the sofa and rushing out of the room, leaving Karen and Leigh sitting alone in awkward silence.

"Ummm, I think I'll go and see if Ivy needs a hand" smiled Karen as got up off the sofa. "Excuse me Miss Conroy."

Ivy had her back to her at the counter, as Karen made her way into the kitchen. She could see she was shaking as she moved to stand behind her girlfriend and gently put her hands on her shoulders.

"I just can't do anything right" Ivy whispered through angry tears, as she clumsily sliced some lemons. "Everything she says is to put me down. Now she's even using my girlfriend against me."

"Listen. She's your mom and she loves you. She's clearly just struggling with the fact that her glory days are behind her and yours are happening right now. I know it doesn't make it right, but deep down she's so proud of you."

"Then why does she never say it?" said Ivy through muffled sobs.

"Come on sweetheart" Karen said, turning her girlfriend around and wiping away the tears that were pouring down her face. "Just calm yourself, okay?" she said gently. "And just so you know, I couldn't be more proud of you. And you should be proud of yourself too, for everything you've achieved in your career, not just 'Bombshell' ... okay? Don't let anyone, not even your mom, make you think otherwise."

Ivy nodded gratefully. "I know. Thank you Karen!"

"There's nothing to thank me for" replied Karen, as she finished cleaning Ivy up. "There, you look presentable again now!" Karen smiled as she tucked a strand of Ivy's blond hair behind her ear, and soothingly rubbed her cheek with her thumb. "Come on, we better go or else your mom will think we snuck off back to New York."

"I'm still not ruling that out" laughed Ivy.

* * *

Ivy looked across at Karen as she parked up the car, and had never felt more thankful. Her girlfriend had been a godsend today. she didn't know if she'd have gotten through the day without her.

When they finally made it into Karen's apartment, she headed straight for the sofa, flopping herself down. "Thanks for driving sweetheart" she practically yawned. "I know I shouldn't be but I'm exhausted! It must be the mental trauma. Can we please limit visits to my mother's to once a year, max?!"

"Well lucky for us she let us know how many Tonys she's won enough times to last a lifetime!" grinned Karen.

"I did warn you!"

"I thought she was fine" said Karen diplomatically as she came to sit down next to Ivy. "She gave birth to you didn't she? Can't be all bad! ... Thank you for letting me be a part of your family today Ivy. You don't know how much that means to me" she said as leaned in and began gently kissing Ivy's neck. "I hope you're not toooo exhausted" she teased.

"Never too exhausted for that" Ivy moaned, as she took Karen's face gently in her hands and kissed her passionately. When they pulled apart she looked deeply into Karen's eyes. "You know I love you don't you" she whispered, her words barely audible.

She saw a flicker of surprise flash across Karen's face, soon followed by an adorable smile.

"I love you too sweetheart. I've, I've been wanting to tell you for weeks, but I didn't want to scare you away!"

"Well I've been too scared to tell you for weeks" laughed Ivy. "I've never felt this way about anyone before Karen, and it's kind of terrifying me. You know, I feel like a better person when I'm with you."

"You don't need to be a better person Ivy. I wouldn't change you for anything." she said, as she kissed Ivy again needily.

Things were just getting heated when they were disturbed by the sound of the front door unlocking, and Ana made her way in. "Ugh umm, don't mind me!" she grinned as Karen and Ivy broke apart, their faces reddening at the interruption. "I take it today went well then?" she laughed. "Sorry to disturb you both! I know I said I was out tonight, but Steve had to cancel dinner"

"No it's fine" smiled Karen, as she frantically adjusted her top and gave Ivy a wink. "Sorry Ana" she said, blushing.

"No worries" laughed Ana. "So, I've got a great bottle of wine I've been keeping for a special occasion. Why don't we crack it open now?"

"What's the occasion?" asked Ivy.

"I don't know. How about the 3 of us, on Broadway, living the dream!" Ana said, as she came back from the kitchen with a Bordeaux in hand and 3 glasses.

"Sounds good to me" said Karen, looking over at Ivy with a knowing grin. "Living the dream indeed!"


	8. Chapter 8

Karen gave herself a final look in the mirror and prepared herself for the biggest night of her life. Everything she'd ever dreamed of was finally coming true. She thought of Kyle and smiled sadly. He'd have been so excited about this night. She wanted to do him proud.

She looked at the card again which Ivy had given to her this morning and couldn't help but smile.

_Iowa! Sorry I can't be there ... break a leg tonight. A year ago I'd have meant that literally! I'm so proud of you. Have fun out there. I love you. Xoxo_

"Come in" she called as a knock at the door stirred her from her thoughts.

"Hey" said Jimmy as he made his way into Karen's room with a tentative smile on his face. "They just called 15 minutes. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be I guess" replied Karen nervously. "How about you?"

"I'm actually excited you know! I bet you'd never hear me say that" he grinned. "God Kyle would have loved tonight. He'd have been in his element ... Karen? I've never thanked you properly for giving me another chance. I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't ... so thank you, I mean that. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for what I did to you."

"Well that's the good things about broken bones, they heal" Karen said. "It all seems like such a long time ago now, let's forget about it, okay? I'm proud of you you know, for how you've come through everything. Kyle would be even prouder."

"You think?"

"I know so!"

"Thanks Karen" Jimmy said gratefully. "You know, I've never been much for regrets, but letting you go is one that's going to live with me for a long time"

"Jimmy ..."

"I know I know, you don't have to explain! You don't owe me an explanation that's for sure."

"I was ready to give you my heart you know" Karen smiled regretfully. "That night of the 'Bombshell' premiere, making the decision to cut you loose, it was one of the hardest decisions I'd ever made. It was self- preservation. But then life sometimes has a different plan for us I think, and Ivy and I ... well I never planned for it, put it that way. It just happened. That's why I know everything will work out for you too Jimmy."

"You think so?" he smiled.

"Of course! ... So! Are we going to do this or what?!"

"Hell yes! Come on Miss Cartwright" Jimmy smiled, taking Karen's hand. "Let's go and round up the troops!"

* * *

"Karen, darling, you were magnificent" said Jerry, making his way through the throng of well wishers at the aftershow party towards his leading lady.

"Thank you Jerry" she smiled genuinely. He might not be her favourite person but she had to admit he was a wonderful producer. She wasn't sure anyone else could have moved the show to Broadway with such success in so short a time. Of course Derek was a big part of that too. His drive and desire for perfection never ceased to amaze her.

"You know, there's not much time before we need to start thinking about the awards. You'll be a shoe in for the nominations."

"Jerry, we've just finished the first show. Is that all you think about?!" laughed Karen. "And I mean it, I want a clean fight. No dirty tactics. Besides, Ivy's going to win everything, and it would be well deserved!"

"My girlfriend says all the right things" said a familiar voice behind her, as she spun around excitedly to see Ivy standing there.

"Heyyyyy, you came!" Karen beamed. "Will you excuse me please Jerry" Karen smiled, leading Ivy away to the nearest corner to kiss her girlfriend tenderly.

"Get a room Kivy!" they heard Bobby shout from across the room, and rolled their eyes laughing.

"I'm so glad you made it!" smiled Karen.

"Well I might not have been able to make the show, but I sure as hell wasn't going to miss the party. I'm hearing how fantastic you were. Congratulations gorgeous."

"Thank you. How was 'Bombshell' tonight?"

"The same as always!" laughed Ivy. "But thank you for asking! ... so how was it? Better than you ever dreamed it would be?"

"It was amazing. I was getting so many chills throughout the show. I mean, there were a few hiccups along the way, but no doubt Derek will be the only one who noticed!" she laughed. "I'm a lucky girl."

It's more than just luck sweetheart. Sooooo, how about we celebrate properly back at mine later?" Ivy winked.

"Sounds like a plan" Karen grinned wickedly. "Look, about that Ivy. So I was thinking ... one of Ana's friends is looking for a place to stay, and we spend so much time at each other's anyway ... I, I was wondering if you, erm maybe, but you don't have to ... but maybe you might want to get a place together. You and me. I mean, I, I don't want to pressure you or anything ..."

"Karen stop!" laughed Ivy, reaching up to fiddle with Karen's hair. "I'd love to!"

"You would?!"

"Yes! I've been dying to ask for ages, but didn't want to cause any trouble with Ana if she didn't have anyone to replace you. I tell you what, why don't you move into mine and we can start looking for our own place once everything's settled down."

"Sounds perfect" Karen nodded excitedly. "I love you Ivy Lynn!" she added, kissing her girlfriend again on the lips.

"Okay enough with the PDA already you two!" laughed Ana as she made her way over, large glass of wine in hand. "Hi Ivy. You should know your girlfriend killed it out there tonight!"

"I never doubted it! And I heard you were pretty special too!"

"But of course!" grinned Ana! "Karen, Jerry's looking for you. The New York Times wants to run an interview and photoshoot with you and Jimmy, now that you're Broadway's hottest couple! Richard Francis is with him now. Better go flash him your winning smile. Even Jimmy is putting on the charm!"

"Okay, okay!" laughed Karen. "Keep an eye on this one for me will you" she said, poking Ivy playfully. "I know how she gets after a few glasses of fizz" she teased.

Ivy laughed as she watched her girlfriend go and introduce herself to Richard Francis. She had such an easy way with her, it was no wonder she was well on the way to becoming Broadway's sweetheart. Jimmy was smiling away too, clearly saying all the right things, and as Ivy watched the way they interacted with each other, so naturally, she couldn't help the pang of green eyed monster that coursed through her. They were a fantastic looking couple. Jerry was probably having kittens that the romance had fallen apart. They would have been a marketing dream!

"It's you she loves" smiled Ana, as she came back with another drink for Ivy.

"God I'm not that obvious am I?!" Ivy replied, smiling.

"No, but it's not hard to know what you're thinking." Ana laughed. "You haven't got anything to worry about believe me. All Karen ever talks about is Ivy this, Ivy that, did you know what Ivy did today?" she teased.

"You must think Karen's crazy for hooking up with me" smiled Ivy.

"I did, I won't lie. She was distraught after Boston. The way you treated her Ivy! I'm not sure I could have forgiven you the way she has, let alone get it on with you!" she laughed. "But I have to say, I've never seen her more happy than she is with you. And if that's because of you, then I guess you can't be all bad. She's come out of her shell so much these past few months with you."

"Thank you ... I think?!" Ivy laughed.

* * *

"Oh my god, I could fall asleep right now, standing up!" Karen yawned, as she finally made her way to Ivy a few hours later, who was slumped at the bar, equally exhausted. "Thanks for waiting for me sweetheart, you didn't have to. They never told me how much schmoozing would be involved. And ugh, sleazoid Sebastian Turner was creeping around also!"

"Oh my god, he's the worst. Shame he's pretty much the richest Broadway investor around! He's put a bunch of money into 'Bombshell too! At least he's easy on the eye, I'll give him that ... and he knows how to pick a good musical!"

"He's a total slimeball, end of! Anywayyyy, can we just go home now please?"

"Say that again?" said Ivy.

"What?" said Karen, confused.

"Home!" replied Ivy. "Sounds perfect" she smiled, taking Karen's hand as they made contentedly made their way outside together and into the bright lights of Broadway.


	9. Chapter 9

"Wow, Karen and Jimmy look sickeningly gorgeous together" remarked Bobby to Jessica and Sue. They were having a short break from 'Bombshell' rehearsals and reading the New York Times article and about the two 'Hit List' stars that had been published today.

"Let me see" said Jessica eagerly. "Wow, Karen's hand is resting awfully close to his ..."

"Hey guys!" interrupted Ivy, making her way over after some discussions with Tom. "What are you looking at? Looks juicy!"

"Oh just reading up on Broadway's hottest couple!" teased Bobby wickedly. "Sadly Jimmy bats for the wrong side, or else I'd be allllllll over that!"

"You're unbelievable" Ivy laughed, rolling her eyes. "Let me see" she said, sitting down to have a look. She only had eyes for Karen, and she looked absolutely stunning, wearing a sexy barely there skin tight back dress, whilst draped over Jimmy, the pair of them slouched on a brown battered leather sofa in a theatre setting. The headline read "Broadway's new power couple top the Hit List."

"Well, Jerry is going all out for awards season" said Ivy, unable to hide the hint of jealousy in her voice. As she read the interview she found herself getting more and more irritated. The way Richard Francis had spun it it was almost as if Karen and Jimmy were still a real life couple. And the way Karen and Jimmy were gushing over each other ... had Karen completely forgotten the way he treated her when they were briefly going out! Right on cue her phone beeped and she looked to see a message from Karen.

_Obviously RF ignored ALL the nice things I said about you! No fretting! ;) Love you. See you later ... at home! Xoxo_

She couldn't help but smile at the text. It was just what she needed. Truth was, she was still struggling with Jimmy and Karen working so closely together, especially as their roles involved so much physical contact. She trusted Karen, she really did, but it was herself she didn't trust. That thing inside her that made her think the worst all the time. Things were so good right now, and in her mind she knew it couldn't last. It didn't help that Karen seemed to be getting along so swimmingly again with Jimmy. "It's just work" Karen had told her, but the only reason Karen had broken up with Jimmy in the first place was because she didn't think he could change ... and now he had, for the better. And now Jerry was going to make sure that Karen and Jimmy were everywhere together! The next few months would be torture.

* * *

"I swear, that one has to rank as the dullest one yet!" laughed Karen as she walked with Jimmy through Bryant Park back to the Great White Way after yet another 'Hit List' promotional lunch organised by Jerry.

"I know right?!" laughed Jimmy. "I keep having to tell myself, I'm only doing this for Kyle."

"Me too! ... I'm sure this will all backfire though. People will be sick of the sight of us soon. We'll be on their real life hit list" Karen joked. "Oooooh, you want to get an ice cream?" Karen said excitedly, distracted by the sight of the ice cream booth.

"You sit down and I'll get them" laughed Jimmy.

"Lots of raspberry sauce please!" Karen called after him. When he returned they sat on a bench chatting contentedly and eating their cones until Jimmy became quiet and pensive.

"Karen?" he said after a while. "I wish I'd done things differently you know? I know I said I'm not one for regrets, but I've managed to make such a mess of everything up until now. And now it's too late."

"Kyle's name is up in lights, on Broadway, because of you Jimmy. Because of the show that you both created!" Karen replied. "I wouldn't call that a mess!" she smiled reassuringly.

"I didn't just mean Kyle" he said, looking deep into Karen's eyes. "I meant you too Karen. My feelings haven't changed you know. If there's any chance ..."

"Jimmy" said Karen softly but firmly, taking hold of his hands. "You know that I'll always care for you. And if circumstances had been different ... but I'm with Ivy now, and I love her. I really do. I'm in love with her. ... I'm sorry Jimmy!" she smiled regretfully. "I just don't want to give you any false hope."

"Worth a shot I guess!" Jimmy smiled sadly.

"Well, we still get to kiss each night right?" Karen teased. "And I'd be lying if I said it still didn't give me a little tingle!" she grinned.

"We'll always have 'Hit List'" laughed Jimmy.

"Are we okay?" asked Karen, a look of concern on her face as Jimmy grew quiet again.

"Of course we are" smiled Jimmy. "And thank you for being honest with me."

"Come here you!" said Karen, leaning in to give Jimmy a hug followed by a tender peck on the lips. "Shall we head back? Derek will be wondering where we've got to!" she said as she pulled him up from the bench and they began to walk arm in arm back to the theatre.

* * *

"I wish I could stay here with you. A movie night seems so appealing right now!" said Ivy, as she finished applying her make-up at the dressing table, while Karen sat cross legged in her pjs on their bed watching her girlfriend get ready.

"Well I'll keep the bed warm for you" grinned Karen, as she hugged one of the pillows. "You look hot as hell" Karen said, grinning wickedly, as Ivy made her way up from the stool, revealing a figure hugging dress that accentuated all her curves. "Maybe I should come and keep you company. It doesn't seem right that everyone's going to be getting an eyeful tonight and not me" she pouted.

"Patience sweetheart" Ivy smiled, as she made her way over to Karen and leaned in to kiss her passionately. "You get to see everything later."

"Can't wait" smiled Karen. "Well have fun tonight, and make sure you keep those investors happy. Although not tooooo happy she teased. I am a fully fledged 'Hit Lister' remember!"

"Bombshell for the win!" laughed Ivy. "Right! I will see you later gorgeous. Enjoy 'The Notebook' or whichever romantic cheesefest I know you're going to watch when I'm gone!" she winked, making her way out the door before Karen could begin to protest.

It was now only a month until the Tony nominations, and Eileen was hosting a party at Tom's swish apartment for all of the 'Bombshell' investors and some bigwigs in the industry. 'Hit List' had stolen some of 'Bombshell's' thunder recently and Eileen wanted to ensure it was back to being the most talked about show on Broadway. She'd spared no expense, and had arranged for a 10 piece orchestra to provide the entertainment, with Ivy roped in to sing some 'Bombshell' tunes, including the party favourite 'I Never Met A Wolf'.

What Ivy really just wanted to do was to stay at home with Karen. It was their first night off together in ages, and they'd planned to have a quiet movie night, just the two of them, but Eileen's last minute party had scuppered that. She soon cheered up though when she saw what a wonderful job Eileen had done with Tom's apartment. It has been had transformed into an exquisite apartment from a bygone era for the night. She almost expected Marilyn herself to make an appearance!

"Ivy! Darling you look stunning" said Eileen, greeting her before she was barely through the door. "Everyone's been asking after you, wanting to know when their Marilyn is going to make an appearance. Sebastian Turner especially has been asking after you. I want you to give him some very special attention!" she winked.

"Must I?!" smiled Ivy, rolling her eyes.

"Oh I absolutely insist!"

They were interrupted by Bobby and Jessica rushing over, clearly excited about something.

"Sorry Eileen, but we need to borrow Ivy for a moment" Bobby said, practically dragging Ivy away and into the nearest corner!"

"What is it?! This better be good you guys because Eileen does not look impressed!" Ivy laughed.

"Wow, so you've not seen the pictures then?" asked Jessica.

"What pictures? ...

* * *

Karen had fallen asleep not long after Ivy had left, such was her level of exhaustion. She'd never had such a busy schedule as right now and it was taking its toll. She was startled out of her slumber, however, by her phone ringing, smiling sleepily when she saw it was Ivy.

"Hey sweetheart. Didn't expect to hear from you so soon. Is everything okay?"she said, trying to suppress a yawn.

"What do you think Iowa?" Ivy said bitterly.

"What the heck are you talking about Ivy? Are you okay?" said Karen, sitting up, suddenly feeling very awake.

"No I'm not f*cking okay Karen. Do you think I would be okay to find out my girlfriend has been busy f*cking Jimmy f*cking Collins?!"

"Oh my god, what?!" spat out Karen incredulously. "First of all, just calm down for christ's sake Ivy. And secondly, don't be so ridiculous, of course I'm not sleeping with Jimmy! Where the hell have you heard this from?!"

"I've not heard it from anywhere. It's all over Page 6 for the world to see!" Ivy said angrily.

"What?! Okay just hang on a second Ivy" Karen said, grabbing her iPad from the side of the bed. She quickly located Page 6 and audibly groaned at the sight of the offending article. A pap had taken pics of her and Jimmy from yesterday, and the article was speculating heavily about an affair. There were photos of them walking arm in arm, of Karen holding Jimmy's hand on the bench, and then her leaning in to kiss him on the lips. Although Karen knew the truth, she had to admit that to anyone else, without any sort of explanation, the photos didn't look entirely innocent. It didn't help that the last line read "I wonder what Ivy Lynn is going to make of this 'bombshell'!"

"Okay, Ivy, NOTHING is going on between me and Jimmy" said Karen, trying to calm the situation, and Ivy. They've completely spun those pictures to make them seem more than they are, which they always do!"

"Oh so you didn't kiss him on the lips, or hold his hand, or walk arm in arm?" Ivy practically spat out.

"Yes, but Jesus Ivy, the context was totally innocent. I shouldn't even be having to defend this it's so far off reality! Look, Jimmy and I were walking back to the theatre yesterday after our lunch, and we sat down to have an ice cream, and were chatting ... and then Jimmy confessed to me he still had feelings for me. I told him I cared for him, but that you were my girlfriend Ivy, and that it's you I love. That it's you I'm _in_ love with. That's the truth Ivy!"

"You kissed him on the lips!"

"For f*cks sake Ivy" said Karen, getting exasperated. "It was a peck on the lips, nothing more. And yes maybe I should have thought that someone might take a pic, but it was so innocent it didn't even occur to me. Ivy, I love you. There is nothing going on with me and Jimmy."

"Then why didn't you tell me what happened."

"Because, because I didn't think it would achieve anything telling you. And honestly? Because I knew you'd overreact and accuse Jimmy of trying it on, and it really wasn't like that. I guess I wasn't wrong about the overreaction ... look, just come back home will you and we can talk this through together properly."

"I can't, I'm about to perform 'Wolf' for all my male admirers" replied Ivy sarcastically.

"Okay, well then I'll come to Tom's" Karen said.

"No, I don't want you to come Karen, I can't handle this right now. have to go."

"Ivy! ..." Karen started, but it was too late. Ivy had hung up.

* * *

An hour later and Ivy's mind was all over the place. Not helped by the 3 double vodka tonics she'd just downed in quick succession. She'd holed herself up in Tom's laundry room and was stewing over the pictures, and her conversation with Karen. She trusted Karen, she did, but then why was her mind conjuring up all these awful thoughts about her and Jimmy. What if Karen had been playing her all along. Just using her for a bit of fun while she sorted things with him! No, that didn't make sense. Karen loved her, she knew she did. They were living together and were happy. But this was Ivy Lynn. She didn't do happiness. She knew this relationship was too good to be true. She'd known that all along. She should have known better.

"There you are Ivy!" said Eileen, bursting into the room. "I've been looking all over for you. Marilyn's services are required! ... is everything okay darling?" she asked suddenly, her voice filled with concern as she noticed Ivy's tear filled eyes.

"Everything's fine Eileen smiled Ivy, wiping away her tears. "Just channelling my inner Marilyn."

Ivy's head was still in a spin as she sang 'Wolf' but she was professional enough to channel all her emotions into the performance, and it was stunning. The whole room was mesmerised. Eileen had asked her to bring the sex and she'd gone above and beyond. She'd show Karen what she was missing out on!

She was making her way to the bar afterwards when she felt a hand grip her arm from behind.

"That was simply ravishing Miss Lynn" whispered a voice in her ear.

"Thank you" smiled Ivy, spinning around to see the investor Sebastian Turner standing in front of her with a predatory smile on his face. "I'm glad you're enjoying the party."

"Well I'm certainly enjoying you ... and this wonderful apartment of course."

"Well, why don't I give you a tour" smiled Ivy, slurring her words a little as she led Sebastian through the apartment until she finally reached the door of Tom's spare bedroom. She was feeling completely out of control but she couldn't stop herself. She opened the door and upon finding it empty took Sebastian's hand and pulled him inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

"Why Mr Turner, we seem to have stumbled into the bedroom" teased Ivy, putting on her best Marilyn voice, as she moved towards Sebastian reaching for his tie.

"It appears we have" he grinned slyly. "What are we going to do about it Miss Lynn?"

"I have an idea" she whispered seductively, as she slowly pulled him towards her, before pushing him onto the bed. "I have a very good idea!"

**TO BE CONTINUED ...**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey! so this chapter gets a little dark, as everything starts to unravel for Ivy. I've got a strong sense of where this story is going so I hope you keep reading. Enjoy!**

* * *

So much for a quiet movie night. Karen's phone had been ringing non-stop for the past couple of hours. Various media sites and newspapers eager for a comment, or friends calling and texting to ask what on earth was going on. Karen had spoken to her manager, Janet, soon after her call from Ivy, and her advice was, considering that nothing was going on with her and Jimmy, to release a statement from the pair of them, setting the story straight.

"Why do I have to even explain myself?" Karen had implored. "It's just so much rubbish. I'd rather just say nothing. People can think what they like."

"The trouble is Karen, looking at those photos people are going to think something is going on. It's crap for you I know, but it's just the way it is."

"Okay okay, I'll speak to Jimmy!"

She immediately called Jimmy who seemed more amused by the furore than anything else.

"People are seriously interested in this?"

"Apparently so!" sighed Karen.

"Well, I do owe you" laughed Jimmy "I'll ring Janet and sort this, okay? You don't need to worry about it."

"Thank you Jimmy!"

"You realise I'm doing this more because I'm terrified of Ivy!" he joked before hanging up.

Karen couldn't help but smile. Truth was though, knowing Ivy as she did, she'd be working herself into a state over the photos right now, especially with people like Bobby and Jessica stirring the pot and loving every second of it. She didn't want to go to the party and cause a scene, especially after Ivy had told her to stay away, but she also needed to know Ivy was okay. She picked up the phone to try her girlfriend again.

* * *

"If I'd have known that this was my reward Miss Lynn, I'd have invested sooner" teased Sebastian, as he pulled Ivy on top of him and began kissing down her neck, running his hands freely down her curves. "You really are ravishing!"

"Well I aim to please" smiled Ivy, as he reached her mouth, their lips locking hungrily. Ivy had lost all control of herself as the alcohol inside her and her paranoia took over her, and the kiss was rough and hard.

"I always had you down for a being a minx Ivy" Sebastian groaned in between their kisses. "What would that sweet girlfriend of yours say if she could see this now" he grinned wickedly.

Just the mention of Karen had the effect of stirring Ivy to her senses. What the hell was she doing?! This was Karen, whose soft, tender kisses were the complete opposite of the Sebastian's predatory kisses. The girl who loved her. Who she loved equally. Why was she trying to punish her? For what?!

"Sebastian" Ivy gasped, as the enormity of her actions began to hit her. "Stop, please. I can't do this."

"Oh I think you can" he grinned, as his hand made its way up her bare thigh and under her dress, and he flipped her over so he was now on top of her.

"Sebastian!" pleaded Ivy! pushing at his chest. "I mean it. I'm sorry."

"Come on! I know you want this. Why else would you bring me here." He kissed her hungrily again, causing Ivy to turn away in an attempt to get him off her.

"Sebastian, I'm serious!" Ivy said, panic starting to set in. "Will you just let go of me!" she said forcefully, managing to push him off her, as she tried to get up off the bed towards the locked door.

"Where do you think you're going Miss Lynn? No one likes a prick tease. Do you even know who I am?" he said angrily, as he grabbed her and pulled her back onto the bed, putting his hand over her mouth as she began to call out. "You need to remember on which side your bread is buttered. Without me 'Bombshell' would be nothing. Be a good girl now. Eileen promised me you'd be very attentive."

Ivy was panicking as Sebastian pinned her to the bed, and began to forcefully pull up her dress. Tears started to fill her eyes as she realised the mess she was in, and that it was all her own doing. She was using all her force to get away but he was too strong. She couldn't believe this was happening. All because of her own stupidity. She closed her eyes, as if it would somehow shut out the nightmare in the middle of. Just then, somewhere in the background, she could hear the muffled tones of Karen's ringtone ringing from her bag. She was so close to her, but never had she been further away.

* * *

"Ivy just pick up the phone, please!" yelled Karen in frustration, but to no avail. It was now 2am and she'd been trying Ivy's phone all night. She'd just rung Tom who told her that Ivy had left hours ago. Then where the heck was she, and why hadn't she come home?! She threw on some clothes and made her way out into the chill night. She didn't know where she was going to go, but figured the best bet was to start at Tom's and head towards the nearest bar. She was just about to hail a cab when she saw a familiar sight walking slowly towards her down the sidewalk, relief overcoming her.

"Ivy!" she yelled, running over to her girlfriend. "Oh my god thank god you're okay. I was starting to panic" she gasped, enveloping a non-respondent Ivy in a vice like hug. Her relief soon turned to anger, however. Anger that Ivy could be so unfeeling.

"Where the heck have you been Ivy?! I've been ringing you all night! It's not okay to just disappear like that okay? Tom said you'd left hours ago. You couldn't even give me one phone call, to let me know you were alright?!" She gripped Ivy's shoulders and pulled back from the hug to look at her girlfriend, her anger dissipating slightly when she saw Ivy's face start to crumple.

"I'm sorry" Ivy whispered, her words barely audible. "I'm so sorry Karen. I've ruined everything!"

"What? Hey, come on" Karen said, pulling Ivy into another hug. "You haven't ruined everything! But you can't keep doing this Ivy. Come on" she added, her face softening, as she broke apart to take Ivy's hand. "Let's go inside, get you sorted, and talk about this."

Once inside Karen led Ivy to the sofa, sitting down gently next to her. "Ivy, I don't blame you for seeing those pictures and immediately thinking the worst. But how many times do I have to tell you. I love you. There's no one else. For better or worse we're in this together right? I just, Ivy, you have to stop doing this. Doubting me ... and doubting yourself ... Ivy?" she implored.

Ivy looked at her hands, unable to look Karen in the eyes. Those puppy dog eyes that would never suspect Ivy of anything despite her having every reason to from past experience.

"Why do you love me?" she asked quietly.

"What?" laughed Karen gently.

"I mean it. Why do you love me? I could never love me after ... after ... after what I did."

"Look at me Ivy" implored Karen, taking Ivy's hand, lifting Ivy's chin up to to her face. "That Ivy. That's not the Ivy I fell in love with. This is the Ivy I'm in love with. Someone who is kind, fun, honest. Brutally honest sometimes. She's someone who isn't perfect, but then I'm not either. I've never felt more alive than I do when I'm with you ... even though you're going to make me turn grey through worry before I turn 30" she joked. "Are we okay? I'm not going to explain myself over those pictures again Ivy, because there's nothing to explain, but if you can't in any way trust me after all this time, then ..."

"I trust you" whispered Ivy, forcing a smile, as tears formed in her eyes again. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"Ivy?" said Karen, her voice full of concern. "Has something happened sweetheart. And I don't mean about the pictures!" she smiled. "Because whatever it is, you can tell me."

Ivy looked at Karen, and good feel herself starting to shake.

"No" she whispered. "Everything's fine Karen" she smiled.

"Okay" smiled Karen, as she gently rubbed Ivy's cheek with her thumb, moving in to kiss Ivy gently on the lips.

"Umm, I think I'm going to have a shower" Ivy said as, startling Karen with her sudden movement, as she quickly bolted from the sofa before their lips could touch, and made her way towards the bathroom.

"Ivy!" Karen called after her, but she didn't respond. She was in a daze as she slowly undressed, and made her way into the shower. She turned the nozzle hotter and hotter until it was almost burning her, but she didn't care. Anything to wash away the mess. She didn't know what to do. How could she tell Karen the truth when she didn't even know the truth herself. She did this to herself didn't she? The combination of heat of the water and her emotions made her collapse as she slumped to the floor, her body wracked by silent sobs. She couldn't lose Karen, she couldn't, but she couldn't tell her either. Why would Karen ever want to go out with someone so filthy. So damaged. She'd ruined everything.


	11. Chapter 11

It was 5am and Ivy had barely slept a wink all night. She hadn't slept at all much recently. She turned her head to look at Karen who was sleeping peacefully on her front, one arm hugging the pillow her head was resting on, and the other loosely wrapped around Ivy's stomach. She looked beautiful. She turned onto her side and gently stroked Karen's cheek, running her fingers lightly through her hair.

"Mmmm what time is it" whispered Karen, stirring a little.

"Sssshhhh, it's only 5am. Sorry did I wake you?" smiled Ivy.

"It's okay" Karen smiled, slowly opening her eyes to look at Ivy, silhouetted next to her. "I forgive you!" she added, snuggling into the crook of Ivy's neck, kissing it lightly, as she drifted off to sleep again.

Ivy closed her eyes trying to fight the tears building up inside her. Just feeling Karen touching her was almost too much. The guilt she felt was overwhelming. Every time Karen kissed her she would have flashbacks to that night. Karen's soft, loving kisses turning into the rough kisses of that man. It was like she couldn't escape the nightmare and this was her punishment.

She wanted to tell Karen, but the longer it went by the harder it was becoming. And the truth was, she was terrified. Karen had already suffered heartbreak at her own hands once before. She'd forgiven her once, but she wouldn't do so again. She couldn't lose her, but then what life was this? She wasn't herself anymore. That night was consuming her. All she wanted to do was be in Karen's comforting arms but whenever she was her guilt, the flashbacks, kept flooding back. It was a vicious spiral, destroying her.

* * *

"Nooooo! Oh my god Karen, we've been practising these moves for 2 hours and you still can't bloody well get it right!" bellowed Derek, getting ever more frustrated at his stars sloppy work.

"Sorry Derek" Karen muttered.

"Okay, let's take 10" he added, seeing that Karen clearly needed a break. He walked over to his star as she sat down to drink some water.

"Is everything okay Karen?"

"It's fine Derek. Sorry, I'm just a little distracted today. I'll get it right next time."

"I know you will darling" he smiled genuinely, moving to sit next to her on the floor. "I'm guessing this is Ivy's doing?"

"What?" Karen spluttered. "No, it's, everything's fine with me and Ivy. It's fine."

"That's 3 times you've said fine, and each time more unconvincingly" laughed Derek. "I am here if you need to talk ... as a friend. Just don't go telling everyone else I have a heart. I'm still the dark lord during rehearsal" he winked.

"Who said you had a heart?!" grinned Karen. "But thank you Derek."

"My pleasure darling" he said, kissing Karen on the cheek before getting up and making his way over to talk to Jimmy.

Derek was right. Things were far from fine. On the surface maybe they were, but Karen knew something wasn't right. Ivy just wasn't herself, and hadn't been for the past month, and it was worrying her. Ever since Tom's party Ivy had been distant. She'd said that she trusted Karen, and that she loved her, but then why did it feel like the opposite was true. Every time she tried to get intimate with Ivy at the moment, she would push her away. Karen didn't understand. Ivy always wore her heart on her sleeve. If something was wrong then surely she'd tell her. Then why did Karen feel like Ivy was keeping something from her.

"Okay, back in positions please everyone" Derek called. "That means you too Miss Cartwright!"

* * *

Ivy sat in bed, watching as her girlfriend was tidying up some clothes in the room.

"You could help you know?!" Karen laughed.

"Nah, I get the best angle of your amazing body from here" Ivy smiled.

"Ivy get your ass out of bed!" laughed Karen. "We finally have a day off together, so let's not waste it."

"Well what do you want to do then?" Ivy groaned, as she crawled out of bed.

"Why don't we explore the city. A morning in a museum, a nice lunch somewhere, then in the the afternoon we an stroll through Greenwich, have a coffee, do some people watching. I don't really care as long as I get to spend it with you."

"You're so soppy Iowa" laughed Ivy. "Sounds perfect. I just need to shower and I'm all yours!"

"So!" said Karen later that afternoon, as she was strolling through Greenwich with Ivy, hand in hand. "This whole meet the parents thing! I know things didn't go so well with your mom, but I hope that hasn't put you off!"

"Why?" Ivy questioned suspiciously.

"Well, umm, because ... I want to introduce you to my mom and dad, and was thinking maybe we could go to Iowa for the weekend. I, I, know its a big ask, but it's not like my parents have been particularly enthralled with the idea of me going out with you, especially after what happened with Dev ... I just think, if we go to Iowa, it shows to them that we're serious. What do you think?" she asked nervously.

"Well ... I have been dying to see your little Iowan home town and all the places you've been up to no good kissing girls!" joked Ivy. "Of course I'll come."

"You will?!" squealed Karen, her eyes lighting up.

"Yes!" laughed Ivy.

"Thank you sweetheart. I love you" Karen smiled, stopping to give Ivy a tender kiss on the lips.

They spent the rest of the day strolling through Manhattan, before eventually arriving back at the apartment where they spent a relaxing evening snuggled up together on the sofa watching tv and eating takeout. Ivy had loved every second of it, but inside she was in turmoil. Today hadn't felt real in a way. Of course it was real because everything she said and did, her feelings for Karen, was the truth. But underneath that lurked this secret that was consuming her. Her life was a constant lie, and she hated herself for deceiving Karen.

"Noooo, where are you going?!" groaned Karen, as Ivy untangled herself from Karen on the sofa.

"It's 11 o'clock, I'm exhausted" smiled Ivy. "I loved today, thank you sweetheart."

"Me too" smiled Karen, moving to run her fingers through Ivy's golden locks. "But the day's not over yet my lovely" she teased, as she gently leaned in to kiss Ivy down her neck. "Lie down" she whispered in Ivy's ear, as she laid her girlfriend down to continue her kisses, making her way to Ivy's soft lips.

"Why don't I give you a hand undressing for bed" Karen teased as her hands moved smoothly up Ivy's bare legs and thigh, slowly teasing her dress up her body. Ivy was starting to panic. She knew this was Karen, but every movement was a flashback to that night. She needed to get it, him, out of her head, but she couldn't. She opened her eyes, and instead of Karen all she could see was him, on top of her.

"Karen, stop!" Ivy said, starting to push her girlfriend away. "I'm tired, please."

"Well lucky for you you can lie back and let me do all the work then" whispered Karen, as she moved to kiss Ivy again.

"I mean it Karen. Get off me!" shouted Ivy, as she violently pushed Karen off her and onto the floor, before she scrambled off the sofa and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She could hear Karen calling after her, and covered her ears to shut everything out, as the tears began to flow and she collapsed to the floor against the bathtub. She didn't know how long she stayed like that for but when she came to her senses she became aware once more of Karen knocking.

"Ivy please. Please open the door" Karen said quietly. "Please Ivy, just open the door and let's talk about this. I'm worried about you."

"I can't" sobbed Ivy.

"Yes you can. Please Ivy. I'm, I'm sorry about just now. I, I didn't mean to scare you ... but I, I need to understand what's going on. I don't understand Ivy. Please, whatever it is, please tell me."

Ivy furiously wiped away her tears. She couldn't go on like this. She loved Karen and couldn't do this to her anymore. She slowly scraped herself off the floor and opened the door, to be greeted by Karen, her face consumed with concern.

"Ivy" she smiled comfortingly, reaching out for her girlfriend.

"Don't" said Ivy. "I don't deserve it" she said, before making her way back into the bathroom and slumping down against the bathtub again. Karen came to sit next to her, saying nothing.

"Ivy?" she whispered after a while. "I'm worried about you. Please let me help."

"Karen?" said Ivy fearfully after a while, looking at her hands, unable to look her girlfriend in the eyes. "That night, at Tom's party, I couldn't see straight. When I saw those pictures, I, I thought the worst. And I, I did trust you Karen. I just ... my mind was telling me other things. I was upset, and I drank too much. I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted to punish you even though deep down I knew I was just punishing myself. ... Karen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't. Please, you have to forgive me." she sobbed, her tears starting to flow freely down her face.

"Sorry for what? What did you do Ivy?" Karen asked, her voice suddenly wary.

"I can't ..."

"Tell me Ivy!"

"I, I ..."

"Oh my god" whispered Karen. "You slept with someone else."

Ivy's face crumpled, as she nodded almost imperceptively. She couldn't say anything, the words were stuck in her throat. She forced herself to look at Karen, who was struggling to take it in. Her face filled with shock, but most of all hurt. Just seeing the pain she was causing Karen was heartbreaking.

"Karen, please let me explain!" Ivy pleaded, reaching out to take Karen's hand.

"Get away from me" Karen shouted suddenly, her voice trembling with hurt and anger, as tears began to fill her own eyes. "Oh my god, I'm so stupid. So stupid!" she laughed bitterly. "You must think I'm such an idiot. I should have known this was all some kind of sick joke ... who was it? Actually, I don't want to know. It doesn't even matter!" she said, scrambling unsteadily to her feet.

"Karen wait!" Ivy shouted, reaching out to Karen to grab her hand.

"Get off me!" shouted Karen, as she rushed out of the bathroom. Ivy followed her into the living room, where Karen was frantically gathering her things and throwing them into her bag.

"Karen, please just let me explain" she cried, as Karen grabbed her coat and headed for the door. "Please don't go. I love you!" she pleaded.

"You don't know the meaning of the word Ivy" Karen said, turning to face Ivy, her face contorted with anger. "What is it they say? Fool me once, shame of you. Fool me twice, shame on me! Sounds about right. I should have known this would happen. You've never cared about anyone but yourself and your own drama Ivy. ... I, I thought we were more than this!"

"We are! I love you."

"No you don't! All you've ever done is hurt me. ... I'll get the rest of my things tomorrow" Karen said, turning to walk away from Ivy, slamming the door behind her.

"Wait, please Karen. I'm sorry. Please!" cried Ivy, but it was too late. She was gone. She collapsed to the floor, her body overcome with emotion. "Please Karen" she sobbed. "Please let me explain. I love you!"


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: so sorry for the delay with the next instalment. I've been really busy the past few weeks and have also had total writers block with this chapter! I'll try and post the next one v soon. I've got it all mapped out in my head, kinda, lol! I hope u enjoy, :) **

* * *

"Bloody hell Karen, what is wrong with you! This isn't difficult!" shouted Derek, as he watched his lead stumble through yet another dance number. "You think those Tony voters are going to be impressed? Wrong! It's not even a fair fight between you and Ivy right now!"

"I'm sorry" Karen muttered, feeling herself start to well up.

"It's all you been saying for the past few weeks. Just sort your shit out Karen!"

"Hey!" Jimmy interrupted. "Go easy Derek. Shouting at her isn't going to help."

"Oh is that right Mr Collins?!" replied Derek sarcastically. "You want to do my job now too? If you hadn't noticed we're on Broadway now. The goalposts just got bigger. This is no stage for amateurs, and right now it feels like I'm directing a bunch of school kids! The audience wants to come and see the Tony nominated actress Karen Cartwright, not this!" he said, gesturing towards Karen disparagingly. "Okayyyyy" he said, relenting a little when he looked at Karen and realised he may have overstepped the mark. "Let's take 15 minutes everyone, I think we all need it."

"The Return of the Dark Lord!" joked Ana as she affectionately wrapped an arm around Karen's shoulders as they made their way to the breakout room, earning a half smile from Karen.

"I just can't seem to do anything ri .. Ivy!" said Karen, shock in her voice, as the sight of her ex-girlfriend standing in front of her rooted her to the spot.

Ivy looked nervous. Afraid almost. "Hi, Karen, I ..."

"What are you doing here?" Karen interrupted, coolly. "I'm in the middle of rehearsal."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just, I needed to see you. Please Karen."

"Ivy, do you really think she wants to see you after what you did?!" said Ana angrily. "I think you should leave."

"No it's okay" Karen smiled. "Just give me a minute okay?" she said, winking at Ana.

"You sure?"

"I'll be fine" nodded Karen, as Ana gave her a quick hug and headed into the room, before turning to look at Ivy.

"Karen..."

"Ivy, please stop" Karen interrupted, her voice shaking. "There's nothing to say. You can't say anything that's going to change what happened. I, I don't know what you want from me!"

"I just want to explain. Please let me explain to you what happened. I was upset, and ..."

"Ivy spare me, seriously! It doesn't matter why or how. All that matters is it happened. You must think I'm some kind of mug. Well I'm done with it. What was it you called me? A 'soppy pushover'? Well, not anymore."

"Karen please ..."

"I think you better leave Ivy" said Karen, her emotions starting to take hold of her. "Please just go" she whispered.

Ivy looked at Karen, who was staring at her blankly, challenging her almost. She had so much hurt in her eyes, and a darkness Ivy had only ever seen once before, the time she stood as Marilyn on the stage only hours after Ivy had tried to destroy her. No wonder Karen wanted nothing more to do with her. No wonder she despised her.

"Okay" Ivy said defeated. "Karen, I know it won't change anything, but I want you to know that I do love you. I still love you, and I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Ivy could see a tear start to roll down Karen's cheek as she slowly walked past her towards the exit and it was all she could do not to reach put and wipe it away.

"Ivy?" Karen called after her, as Ivy was almost at the door.

"Yes?" Ivy responded, a glimmer of hope in her voice.

"You know, it took a lot for me to open myself up to you, to give myself to you, after what happened. After what you did. I took a risk because I thought that the Ivy in Boston ... I thought that that Ivy wasn't the real Ivy. But I guess I was wrong. ... Please don't come here again."

Ivy simply nodded her head. She couldn't do anything else. Bereft, she gave Karen a regretful smile before walking out. Karen wasn't much better. Despite everything she still couldn't hate Ivy. Something about her vulnerability just made her want to take her in her arms and look after her, and tell her everything was going to be okay, which was just so ridiculous and illogical given the circumstances. But Karen knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't risk the anymore heartache. She needed to look after herself for a change. That's what Ivy had told her hadn't she?

* * *

"Tom, a word please" barked Eileen, making her way into the studio after rehearsal.

"Someone's in trouble!" Tom joked to his ensemble, before heading out of the room to be greeted by a stern looking Eileen. "I know what you're going to say?"

"What?

"Ivy" replied Tom.

"Oh so you had noticed!" said Eileen, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Tom, this show lives and dies with Marilyn, and right now she's a mess, and it's affecting her performance! Last night she missed her cue three times, and please enlighten me, what's her excuse for not being here now?!"

"I know I know! You know Ivy, she wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's just having a bad time of it at the moment!"

"That's not good enough Tom. I've invested too much in this show for it to be ruined because Ivy can't sort her life out. I'm all about method, but this is getting ridiculous. She's all over the place Tom and people are noticing!"

"I know Eileen, I'll speak to her okay."

"Well do it soon, because this can't carry on like this. I've investors already getting twitchy because 'Bombshell' hasn't been a full house every night. I can't afford for this show to fail now Tom, and especially not for Ivy to derail all the work we put in to get those Tony nominations."

"In case you'd forgetten, Ivy got nominated also!"

"I know, so this is the worst time for her to be acting up! Tom, you know I love Ivy, but this has got to stop."

"I'll sort it. Tom to the rescue!" Tom smiled, as Eileen shook her head and took off down the corridor. He immediately took out his phone and dialled Ivy's number, cursing as it went straight to voicemail.

"Ivy, it's Tom. Do I even want to know where you are?! Just get your ass here now! That's me being Tom the director. As Tom, your friend, Ivy, what the hell is going on? Just call me back will you!"

* * *

"Darling, you really need a better hiding place!"

"Derek, please just go away" Karen sniffled, as she looked up at the director, who had just found her once again hiding behind the costume rail.

"Darling, I know you. You wouldn't have come here if you didn't want to be found. Now, come on" he said, moving to sit next to Karen. "Spit it out."

"It's nothing. You wouldn't understand." replied Karen, furiously wiping away the tears that had been streaming down her face.

"Probably not" smiled Derek. "But I do care about you Karen. Plus, the show's starting in an hour, and half the audience tonight are Tony voters so ..."

"I don't think I can go on."

"Yes you bloody well can! ... I take it this is about Ivy?" he asked.

"I just, I feel so stupid. I feel like she was just playing me this whole time!"

"Do you really think that?" asked Derek.

"Yes! I don't know ... no! But maybe it's better if I think that, because then at least there'd be a reason ... you must think this is all completely ridiculous" Karen said, managing a smile as she looked at Derek.

"Actually, I don't" said Derek, smiling back at his star. "Look Karen, whatever this is, hiding behind curtain rails, albeit fully clothed this time" he smirked "is not the answer. "Now come on!" he said gently, lifting himself to his feet, as he reached down to take Karen's hand and pull her up to him. "This is what I'd have expected of Karen Cartwright 2 years ago, but not now" he winked, as he rubbed away the tears from her face. "Now go and channel everything into tonight's show, okay? The show must go on and all that! And afterwards, well, you know you can talk to me if you need to. I mean that."

"Thank you Derek" smiled Karen, kissing her director softly on the cheek. "I might hold you to that."

* * *

"Another one of these" Ivy slurred, pointing at her 4th empty vodka and tonic glass. Double vodkas at that. She could hear her phone buzzing in her bag as it had been for the past few hours, but didn't care. All she cared about was drinking away the pain. She didn't know who she was anymore. The only thing she knew for sure was that Karen was the only person who could make this pain go away, but she wanted nothing more to do with her. She didn't blame her. She was damaged goods, she always had been.

"Do you think maybe you've had enough miss?" she heard the barman ask.

"Not even close" replied Ivy. "Now pour."


	13. Chapter 13

"Tom! What brings you to Hit List?!" said Karen, surprised to see her old songwriter and director sitting on the steps of the theater so early in the morning. "Checking out the competition?" she winked.

"Always!" he smiled. "But it's actually it's you I wanted to see."

"Oh?" said Karen.

"Well, actually, it's about Ivy"

"Ivy? Is she okay?" said Karen, unable to help herself.

"I'm not sure she is" Tom said, sitting down on the steps, as Karen joined him. "I know the official line is that she's got shingles. Truth is, she's in no fit condition to play Marilyn right now. If she turns up to the theatre sober it's a near miracle. Eileen is this close to making it permanent. If she doesn't do the show tonight she's out. She's all over the place Karen. I don't really know what happened between you, but I do know how much you cared for each other. It's selfish of me to ask, I know, but I think your might be the only one who can get through to her. I've tried but she won't even see me. I'm worried about her.

"Tom, I ...

"Please Karen!" Tom pleaded. "This isn't about the show, it's about Ivy."

"Tom I don't know what you want me to say? As far as I'm concerned our relationship is over. Ivy's a big girl, she'll be fine just like she always is!" said Karen, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"You mean like in Boston, when she nearly did something stupid."

"And you think Boston of all places is what's going to make me sympathise?!" snapped Karen. "Look, if this all you wanted me for Tom, I'm sorry, I can't help you."

"Okay, message received loud and clear!" replied Tom. "It was worth a shot! I better get going or else Eileen will be firing me too!" he smiled.

"I'm sorry Tom."

"Don't be, this isn't on you ... Bye Karen."

"Tom?" Karen asked, as he was getting up to leave?

"Yes?"

"The 'Bombshell' party, at your place ... who was Ivy wi ... actually never mind Tom" smiled Karen. She didn't know why she was even asking. She'd told herself not to even go there.

"I barely saw her that night other than her performing 'Wolf' - I was too busy schmoozing some pretty disgusting but filthy rich investors. I don't know how Derek does it, seriously!" he laughed. "But I do remember she left early, and she was upset. I tried to get her to stay as the investors were clamouring for her to sing another song but she couldn't get out of my place quick enough."

"Did she say anything to you?"

"About what?"

"I, I don't know" smiled Karen. "Forget I asked."

"Karen. Look, this is none of my business, but you know, before you and Ivy split, I've never seen her so ... well, happy, and content! I know she messed it up, but it doesn't change the fact that she loved you ... She's just never been very good at it" Tom smiled kindly. "Take care Karen" he added, before heading off down the sidewalk.

* * *

Ivy groggily stirred herself, the sound of banging was like a hammer against her skull. She slowly opened her eyes and realised she was on the floor next to the sofa. The night before was hazy, but the sight of empty bottles around her left her in now doubt. She knew she was ruining everything but she didn't really care. The banging pierced through her head again and she groaned loudly.

"Go away!" she shouted.

She shut her eyes again, a feeling of nausea washing over her, when she was suddenly startled by a familiar voice.

"Ivy?"

Her eyes shot open, and she took a moment to adjust to the sight before. Karen was standing in the doorway, concern etched on her features. She was hovering uncertainly, as if Ivy was some sort of wild animal that she didn't know how to handle.

"Oh look who it is!" Ivy sneered bitterly. "Come to crow at my demise? Karma's a bitch!"

"Ivy, you're a mess" said Karen gently, as she walked towards her and crouched down next to her. "You look terrible ... Let's get you sorted!" she said, reaching out for her. The last thing Ivy needed right now was her ~perfect~ ex-girlfriend pitying her.

"Get me sorted!" snorted Ivy, swiping away Karen's hand aggressively. "I don't need you to get me sorted Karen Cartwright! We're not together anymore, REMEMBER?!"

"Tom's worried about you..."

"Oh pleaaaaasssseeee" laughed Ivy, manically. "Tom only cares about the show. That's all anyone cares about." She was getting herself worked up.

"Jesus, you're so self absorbed Ivy."

"Yes I am, and now you can kindly leave" said Ivy, reaching for the bottle of vodka only to have it swiped away from her by Karen."

"I think you've had enough." said Karen, an air of exasperation in her voice.

"I've had enough when I say I've had enough!" snapped Ivy. "Just give it me back and get the hell out of here" she said, grabbing the bottle out of Karen's hands and taking a large swig. The alcohol hitting the back of her throat almost made her retch but it didn't stop her taking another gulp.

"Okay that's enough Ivy" Karen said, grabbing the bottle again before proceeding to the kitchen and dumping the remaining contents down the sink.

Ivy slowly hauled herself up and staggered into the kitchen, watching as Karen was clearing away some of the mess.

"You must be loving this!" Ivy said. "I guess it's the least I deserve."

"Ivy, believe it or not, I still care about you. And why would I want to see you like this?" she said, turning to look at Ivy. "look at yourself! ... what's going on?"

"I tell you what's going on! What's going on is that my life is in the shithole and my girlfriend, sorry,_ ex-girlfriend_, doesn't want anything to do with me. She won't even let explain." Ivy's voice was breaking as tears started to fill her eyes.

"Okay then, explain it to me Ivy! I want to know. I want to know why you threw away everything we had ... Come on Ivy, tell me! I'm listening. TELL ME IVY!"

Karen's words shook Ivy, as the reality of everything began to hit her. What could she say that could make this okay. The truth? The truth was that her jealousy and anger had overcome her and she'd wanted to hurt Karen. Just like she had in Boston. She'd wanted to hurt her, and she deserved everything that had come her way. She was the dirty slut he'd told her she was. Karen would be disgusted if she knew the truth, and Ivy couldn't let Karen think of her that way.

Ivy looked at Karen, who was staring at her earnestly. There was so much hurt in her big brown eyes, and it was all Ivy could do not to rush over and hug her.

"You were right Karen. It won't make any difference" she whispered. "I'm no good. All I do is hurt people. Your first impressions weren't wrong. ... now please just go. I don't need you. I don't need anyone."

"Ivy please"

"Just go. I can look after myself."

"If that's what you want" Karen whispered, moving towards Ivy. For a second Ivy thought Karen was going to reach out for her, but she simply looked at her girlfriend regretfully before walking past her to the door of the apartment.

"Ivy" Karen said, turning around to look at her. "Whatever this is, don't let it ruin everything you've worked for. Everything you worked so hard for to get to this point ... don't throw that away. I know you, you'll never forgive yourself.

Ivy watched as Karen turned back around and out of the apartment, closing the door behind her. All the emotions she'd been trying to keep inside released, and her tears started to freely flow from her eyes.

* * *

"So! Where is she?" asked Eileen.

"She'll be here" said Tom.

"We're an hour until curtains up Tom, and our star is nowhere to be seen. I told you this was her last chance, and you promised me she'd be here. She's destroying this show!"

"She _is _the show" Eileen, Tom said defensively.

"No one is bigger than the show Tom. I'm going to go and tell Briony to get ready, and tomorrow we start looking for Ivy's replacement.

"There's no need" said a voice, as Eileen span around to see Ivy standing defiantly in the doorway. "I'm so sorry Eileen. I know you gave me the biggest break of my life, and the role of a lifetime at that. This show's all I've got and if you'll have me, I won't let you down again."

"You'll be the death of me Ivy Lynn" said Eileen, her face betraying the smallest smile. "But go and get yourself ready, and we can talk about this later."

"Thank you Eileen" Ivy smiled, giving Tom a wink before making her way to her dressing room. She might have lost Karen but she was determined to still make her proud.


End file.
